Athletes on Drugs: It’s Not So Hard to Understand (John Seltzer)
On June 17, 1986, Len Bias, a
basketball star from the
To most people
the life of professional athletes is filled with glamour. All they see are the
sports cars, the million-dollar contracts, and the adoring fans. People do not
realize the mental anguish that is involved with being a professional athlete.
The loneliness, the fear of failure, and the insecurities of their jobs are
just a few of the pressures that athletes have to deal with every day. In some
sports, such as baseball, and hockey, the teams play five to seven games a
week, so the athletes must travel to two or three different cities. The
constant travel has an adverse effect on athletes’ ability to cope with daily
pressures. They begin to miss family and friends, often becoming lonely and
depressed. As an alternative to this depression, they turn to drugs.
In most cases,
professional athletes of today have been the best in their sports since
childhood. They have won honors and awards for their talents all through their
lives. They have seldom been failures, and fear of becoming one is their worst
nightmare. The athletes are surrounded by family, friends, and coaches who tell
them they are the best. These people attempt to make the athletes flawless,
incapable of making a mistake. Therefore, when players do have a bad day, they
not only let themselves down but those people too. Again, in order to deal with
the pressure, drugs become an option.
For most of
today’s professional athletes, sports is all they
know. Many do not have a college education, and more than likely, without
sports they would not have a career. Athletes must remain above the competition
to keep their jobs. In some cases, when the God-given ability is not enough,
the player uses drugs for improvement. Athletes have found that some drugs,
such as amphetamines, can increase their physical abilities. These drugs help
the athlete to perform better, therefore giving her or him a greater chance of
success. For example, steroids have almost become a norm in some sports.
Bodybuilders and football players have discovered that these drugs speed up the
development of strength and muscles. In professional football, large numbers of
offensive and defensive linemen claim to have used steroids at least once in
their careers. Those professional athletes who refuse to use amphetamines and
steroids are no doubt at a disadvantage.
In today’s
sports athletes are bigger, stronger, and faster; therefore, more injuries are
occurring. Injuries are part of the game, and all players have suffered at
least one in their careers. The most discomforting fact about injuries for
professional athletes of today is not the pain but the drugs that are used to
ease their discomfort. In many cases, coaches and trainers strongly encourage
the use of such drugs. In the high-priced world of sports, time is money.
Athletes cannot afford to sit out and allow their injuries to heal properly.
They often turn to drugs to help speed up the healing process. Often these
drugs are illegal; sometimes they are more dangerous than the injury itself,
but for the athlete the use of the drug appears to be the only choice. Without
the drugs, the players face the loss of thousands of dollars as well as their
livelihoods.
The
professional athlete has to deal with a great deal of pressure. As the mental
struggles begin to mount the aches and pains begin to multiply, the athlete
becomes more susceptible to drug use. Drug use should never be accepted, but in
the case of the professional athlete, condemning the problem will not solve it.
The fans, owners, and especially the players themselves must reexamine the
pressures and stop the drug problem before it destroys more people’s lives.
1. In paragraph 1, John
expresses his thesis as a question. How well does this strategy work? Explain.
2. Does the author do a good
job of explaining why the factors he mentions are causes? Explain your view.
3. Does John omit any
important causes? Explain.
4. Does John convince out
that drug use by athletes is understandable? Why or why not?
5. What strategies does John
use for his introduction and conclusion?
SAMPLE # 2
In the following essay, a student writer analyzes the effects of contemporary TV soap operas on young people. Notice that she states her subject and the purpose at the beginning of the essay and then presents a combination of facts and opinions in her exploration of the topic. Notice also that, in her analysis, the writer is careful to draw clear connections between her perceptions of the issues and the various objective details in an attempt to trace the effects of this medium in our society today. At the end of her essay, look at her summary of the logical relationships she established in the body of the essay and her conclusion from these relationships.
Cause Effect Sample
Distortions of Reality
Background: Television’s
contributions to society, positive and negative, have been debated continually
since this piece of technology invaded the average American household in the
1950’s. Television has brought an unlimited influx of new information, ideas,
and cultures into our homes. However, based on my observations of my
thirteen-year-old cousin, Katie, and her friends, I think we need to take a
closer look at the effects of soap operas on adolescents today. The
distortions of reality portrayed on these programs are frighteningly
misleading, and, in my opinion, can be very confusing to young people.
Topic Sentence: During the early 1991’s, the lifestyle of the typical soap opera “family” has been radically transformed form comfortable pretentiousness to blatant and unrealistic decadence. The characters neither live nor dress like the majority of their viewers, who are generally middle-class Americans. (First cause—distortion of reality) These television families live in large, majestic homes that are flawlessly decorated. The actors are often adorned in beautiful designer clothing, fur coats, and expensive jewelry, and this opulent life style is sustained by people with no visible means of income. Very few of the characters seem to work for a living. When they do, upward mobility---without the benefit of proper education or suitable training---and a well-planned marriage come quickly. (Concrete details)
Topic Sentence: From this constant barrage of conspicuous consumption, my cousin and her friends seem to have formed a distorted view of everyday economic realities. (First effect) I see Katie and her group becoming obsessed with the appearance of their clothes and possessions. I frequently hear them berate their parent’s jobs and modest homes. With noticeable arrogance, these young adolescents seem to view their parents’ loves as “failures” when compared to the effortless, luxurious lifestyles portrayed in the soaps. (Concrete details)
Topic Sentence: One of the most alluring features of this genre is its masterful use of deception. Conflicts between characters in soap operas are based on secrecy and misinformation. Failure to tell the truth and to perform honorable deeds further complicates entangled lives and love affairs of the participants. (Concrete details) But when the truth finally comes out and all mistakes and misdeeds become public, the culprits and offenders hardly ever suffer for their actions. (Second cause or distortion of reality) In fact, they appear to leave the scene of the crime guilt-free.
Topic Sent: Regrettably, Katie and her friends consistently express alarming indifferences to this lack of moral integrity. In their daily viewing, they shrug off underhanded scenes of scheming and conniving, and they marvel at how the characters manipulate each other into positions of powerlessness or grapple in distasteful love scenes. (Concrete details) I can only conclude that continued exposure to this amoral behavior is eroding the fundamental values of truth and fidelity in these kids. (Second effect)
Topic Sent: Also in the soaps, the powers-that-be conveniently disregard any sense of responsibility for wrongdoing. (Third cause/distortion of reality) Characters serve jail terms quickly and in relative comfort. Drug or alcohol abuse does not mar anyone’s physical appearance or behavior, and poverty is virtually nonexistent. Usually, the wrongdoer’s position, wealth, and prestige are quickly restored—with little pain and suffering. (Concrete details)
Topic Sent: Adolescents are clearly learning that people can act without regard for the harmful effects of their actions on themselves and others when they see this type of behavior go unpunished. (Third effect) Again, I notice the result of this delusion in my cousin. Recently, when a businessman in our community was convicted of embezzling large sums of money from his clients, Katie was outraged because he was sentenced to five years in prison, unlike her daytime “heartthrob,” who had been given a suspended sentence for a similar crime. With righteous indignation, Katie claimed that the victims, many of whom had lost their entire savings, should have realized that any business investment involves risk and the threat of loss. Logic and common sense evaded Katie’s reasoning as she insisted on comparing television justice to real-life scruples. (Concrete details)
Beginning Conclusion: The writers and producers of soap operas argue that the shows are designed to entertain viewers and are not meant to be reflections of reality. Theoretically, this may be true, but I can certainly see how these soap operas are affecting my cousin and her crowd. Although my personal observations are limited, I cannot believe they are unique or unusual. Too many young people think they can amass wealth and material possessions without an education, hard work, or careful financial planning: the material goods are the sole measure of a person’s success in life; and the honesty and integrity are not necessarily admirable qualities. (Ultimate effect)
Proposed solution: Soap operas should demonstrate a realistic lifestyle and a responsible sense of behavior. The many hours adolescents spend in front of television can obviously influence their view of the world. As a society, we cannot afford the consequences resulting from the distortions of reality portrayed every day in these shows.
Student Writer’s Comments: In general, writing this essay was not as easy as I had anticipated during my prewriting phase. Although I was interested in and familiar with my topic, I had trouble fitting all the pieces together: matching causes with effects, examples with main points, and problems with solutions.
My prewriting activities were a combination of lists and journal entries that gave me loads of ideas and phrasing work within my drafts. From this initial thinking exercise, I made an informal outline of points I wanted to make. I played with the order of these topics for a while and then began to write.
Because I had spent so much time thinking through various causal relationships before I began to write, I generated the first draft with minimal pain. But I was not happy with it. The examples that I had chosen to support various points I wanted to make did not fit as well as they could, and the whole essay was unfocused and scattered. Although all writing requires support and focus, I realized that a cause/effect essay demands special attention to the relationship between specific examples and the ultimate causes and/or effects. As a result, I had to begin again to revise my sprawling first draft.
I spent my first revising session on the very sloppy introduction and conclusion. I felt that if I could tighten up these parts of the essay, I would have a clearer notion of my purpose and focus. I am convinced now that the time I spent on the beginning and ending of my essay really paid off. I rewrote my thesis several times until I finally arrived at the statement in the draft printed above. This final thesis statement gave me a clear sense of direction for revising the rest of my paper.